What the f*ck?

 What the f*ck?

Beautiful scenery, shit trousers

The guy with the luminous green trousers has clearly ventured from his normal habit, the mental asylum. 

Hats

According to Wikipedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pointy_hat accessed 19:00 on 11th November 2013) "Pointed hats have been a distinctive item of headgear of a wide range of cultures throughout history". In my opinion the word "cultures" ought to be replaced with 'freaks with no idea of how to dress'. This particular freak is also clearly colour blind. I mean green hat with red hair, seriously?

Jeremy Kyle

Clearly this woman is en route to the Jeremy Kyle studio, following I suspect a trip to the benefits office. Yes, it does appear that she still has her pyjamas on underneath the combats. 

Equation

Leather jacket + Tracksuit bottoms = Big fucking mistake.

Cross-dressing

A controversial look for a woman. Even more so a man.

Fetching (?) pyjama bottoms and shirt combo.

Indiana Jones

Double denim, (another) one of my pet hates. On a side note, it would appear that Indiana Jones has let himself go somewhat...

grandaddy long legs

A man with disproportionately long legs or an inability to know when his trousers are pulled up too high? You decide.

Braces, why?

Looking through the window of Ted Baker will not help you Sir. Get in there and buy something. Quick, before it is too late.

He's too gay

If he were, surely this car would be pink with diamante detail?

Clinging on for dear life

Do yourself a huge favour and just shave it off.

Post 27

At least she doesn't clash with her mother's shoes, much.

Lookalikes

Harry Potter, discovered working in a coffee shop in town. It would appear the whole magic thing didn't work out for him after all. Seriously though, why would anybody wear perfectly circular glasses, particularly after those movies? You sir, are a dick.

Slash (formerly of Guns N' Roses) spotted checking out the beauty products in John Lewis. Although due to his size, it may be Penn Jilette dressing as Slash to draw attention away from the fact he is Penn Jilette.

Leicester Square, London

Please, take a minute from your busy schedules to bask in the glory of the outfit immediately below. It is my personal favorite thus far, by some considerable distance. Also take time to thank your collective lucky stars that you were not born missing the gene that allows us to match items of clothing in a semi-sensible manner, unlike this poor soul. Unless of course you are this poor soul, in which case curse them, curse them with all your might.

To keep the lookalike theme going, I would have to say that it is Richard Simmons. Go on stick him in 'Google images' and think yourselves lucky that information is so very easy to access these days.  When I was younger we actually had to make a proper effort, or simply not bother.

Budgens bed and breakfast

Let's face it, shoes and shirts are overrated.



Beer monster

The clothes one wears says a lot about who they are. This man is a 'Beer Monster' (who perhaps enjoys sitting on benches?). I suspect it took him hours to put this combo together and was really proud of the outcome because he walked with a swagger. Although it may have been a limp, it was hard to tell.

Tour De Haverhill

I will find you and photograph you even if I should really be paying attention to the road. Believe it or not, this guy was actually on his way to work dressed like this.



Turn-up troubles

Now there aren't any official rules for turn-ups but I would at least expect someone to decide if they are to provide three-quarter or conventional leg length and not be somewhere betwixt the two positions. Also, as an absolute minimum requirement, I expect symmetry with regard to turn-up size and ultimate leg length.

Acid house, bike-parking and pregnant men

Trainers with anything other than trainer socks = wrong. Anything other than full-length trousers with shin-length socks = wrong. Pregnant man = wrong.

An unforgivable display of vertical and horizontal stripes worn at the same time. It would only be a slightly worse crime if he is not related to the girl with whom he is holding hands.

The clothing isn't horrendous but a bad look nonetheless. I'm just surprised nobody took the opportunity to park their bike.

Could any two items of clothing match less?

Yes, it is hot outside but you are in an air-conditioned building. For fuck sake put a top on and save the public from this horrific show of sparse body hair and t-shirt tan. Actually, with three of the chavviest brands known to man already on display, the odds on a fourth are very slim indeed. Perhaps best to stay as you are Sir, despite the fact you look like a massive bell-end.

This is either a very old looking ten year-old or I've gone back in time to 1989 and acid house is in its prime again. Although I don't recall any audio device being small enough to fit in one's pocket in 1989 and for that matter I wouldn't have an iPhone with which to take this picture. I must therefore surmise that this guy just doesn't know how to dress, or he is indeed ten. 

Post #20, I figured I'd be bored of this by now

What chance for these poor children when they have a role model such as this?

Things are not going to get any better based on what she's heading to the checkout with.

Grandad shirts still exist, apparently

When one shirt is simply not enough... Or one phone for that matter.

Three-quarter lengths, trousers or somewhere in between?

American, surely? There can be no other explanation for this giant's clothing. Once again it does not appear that the running shoes see any actual running, unless Burger King is about to close.

?

Once again someone discovered trying very had to match a frankly unmatchable pattern. I would have let her off with the bag or the dress, but not both.

Be afraid, be VERY afraid

This guy is inadvertently a genius if he thought that stretching those trunks up beyond his navel and close to his armpits would create a slimming effect. Yes, he is still a fat bastard but the attention is certainly now drawn toward his penis instead of his gut. Not I suspect how he thought it would work but it has created the desired effect. Very well done, Sir. 

Nearly as cute (or creepy) as matching body-warmer couple. We now have matching Bermuda shorts couple (?)

Once again the laws of engineering have been breached. I challenge anyone to find a more unfavourable (to the eye) Speedo to gut size ratio than is displayed below.

Cultural differences

Dubai, UAE

Correct me if I'm wrong but Muslim men are supposed to wear their trousers above the ankle? Fair enough. However wearing shin high socks and thus leaving a 1 inch gap looks somewhat ridiculous. Ankle socks may have perhaps made this outfit tolerable, losing the love handles would have certainly helped.

Surely no culture or religion insists on wearing a mismatch such as this?

Is this a woman or a snow leopard? The photo is a little disappointing because the bag is a very slightly different pattern to the abaya. A great effort but even a perfect match would have yielded a poor result.

The World is not safe

Socks with sandals... White socks at that. I cannot explain how much I wanted to punch him. This guy is my new nemesis.

Come on now, don't tell me that you seriously think the top and shorts go together? Even if he is somehow oblivious to this not insignificant issue then why did his partner not say anything? These are two fully-grown adults who can vote and presumably able to reproduce, the World is a scary and unsafe place indeed.

Anti-Adidas?

It may appear as though I have a vendetta against Adidas, it is simply not true, they just seem to be the brand of choice for the fashion inept. In my humble opinion there are two main things wrong, first the oversize logo on the sleeve (why pay to be a walking billboard?) and secondly the tartan shoes. The only explanation I can come up with is that it was National 'Ridiculous Tartan Awareness Day'. The guy in the foreground seems to strengthen this argument.

Way too many different prints. She beats the black dudes from London hands down.

Rules of engineering

A classic from 2007. I'm not sure why I felt compelled to photograph this man, perhaps I somehow knew that several years later I would want to include him in a blog of badly dressed people. It certainly wasn't latent homosexuality. Anyway, along with Hawaiian shirts, socks with sandals and cowboy boots, Speedos are on the list of items that no man should ever wear. Furthermore, I question how this man's little legs support his upper body mass? He appears to defy all rules of engineering.

Stealth mode

Can you see a man in this photo? Look really closely, he is there. I suspect that the intended purpose of the camouflage is to allow him to ogle scantily-clad models and mannequins from outside Ann Summers without detection. You nearly got away with it Sir but my sixth sense for badly dressed people is far superior to that of your ability to blend into the scenery.

Is it possible to still look bad when wearing Ralph Lauren, Armani and Prada at the same time? This man proves that it is very much possible. Black leather Prada shoes are well and good but not when worn without socks, with tracksuit style shorts and in complete contrast to the rest of one's outfit. Money does not buy class and designer brands do not necessarily equal style.

Josephine and her technicolour dreamcoat

No coat with this amount of colour (Yes America, colour with a U) has been spotted since the book of Genesis was written. One truly awful jacket located, ironically enough, within this truly awful town. The 'Pat Butcher' earrings are just the final nail in this young lady's fashion coffin.

Sixth sense

Much like the boy in the Sixth Sense movie saw dead people I see badly dressed people, everywhere. On this specimen I give honourable mention to the trousers, which appear to be reclaimed from a deck chair, or are they actually pyjama bottoms? Not many people can successfully pull off a hat, this woman is clearly one of the many.